He’s white collar, so it’s fully-suited-in-a-bathtub time. Smart Guy is also shockingly still in debt. Enough to go back to the squid game, perhaps? Let’s spend the next what-feels-like-three-hours finding out. It’s so much debt that his mother’s feet are falling off - which is a lot. What oxygen-deprived focus group did they interpretative dance this at to think they need to repeat everything ad nauseam?Īpparently, Asshole Guy is still in debt. Thanks, completely natural need to talk to yourself. He walks around the apartment and says to himself, “Where’d you go? You left the door open and everything.” Which… whoa, that’s right - the door WAS open! And his mother WASN’T there! I totally missed that. Why? Oh, silly rabbit …Īsshole Guy returns home. We get a voiceover about him having a brain tumor, even though that’s literally his only defining feature. Maybe later we’ll find out why he gave them an out then? (We won’t.)īrain Tumor Guy is the deciding vote, because of course there’s a deciding vote. After giving them an out, Smart Guy votes to stay in the game. Smart Guy reminds them that if they want out, they can just vote. Got it.Įveryone wants out of the squid game. Got it.Įveryone else’s motivation is that they’re in debt. Smart Guy is smart, like white-collar smart.īrain Tumor Guy has a brain tumor. In fact, I hope he dies before he even gets to the game, someone yells “Ha ha, he died” from a passing car, and the credits roll. Ten minutes in, I already hope that he dies first. This is some intricate character-building. He gets his daughter a birthday gift from a vending machine and doesn’t even check inside the box to see what it is. Based on the promos, he’s going to be playing some sort of game. As I understand it, Asshole Guy is the protagonist. We are introduced to a guy and shown that he’s an asshole. The following is an account of my experience. Squid Game became that, for all the wrong reasons - I was so angry with the storytelling that I grimly plowed through it, one episode a day, propelled by anger and exasperation. ![]() I hate it, so I need something to distract me until the indignity is over. This is the highly subjective account of someone who watches series while riding a stationary bike towards a mythical land of lower blood sugar.
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